i have a sex addiction. what can i do? -
04-25-2010, 12:39 AM
my friends have already told me this before. i guess i was in denial, but last week something happened that made me realize they were right.. :/
i usually had been having sex 3-4 times a week. sometimes with different guys, or sometimes just casual sex with friends. i usually have sex for about 4 or 5 hours but sometimes we go for 9+ hours. i used to think it was normal but now i don't know what to think anymore.
all of my friends are urging me to get help but i don't know how.
last week at a party, i got a little drunk but i still knew what i was doing and was well aware of my surroundings. well, that night, i got a little too crazy and got convinced by some guy friends, and another guy who I've seen around campus, for all of them to f*ck me at the same time.
i was willing to try something new and i had never been f*ck ed by 3 different guys at the same time (i have only had 3so mes with a guy and another girl) so i decided to do it.
one guy was in my mouth. another in my anus, and another in my vagina. they switched around and t*tit f*ck ed me as well. i have to admit that it was very fun and pleasurable for me.
it was the best sex i have ever had in my life, but now i feel like maybe I'm going too far.
i also send videos of me masturbating to some guys that i know.... i masturbate maybe twice a week..?
You seriously have too much time on your hands if you can have sex for 9 hours straight. Check into a rehab if you are serious. Hell even 4 hours is too long.
if this is for real, you really need to get help. there's nothing wrong with liking sex, but you need to learn to control yourself. this kind of thing could really come around to bit you on the butt in life either with a disease, unwanted child, or even just reputation. what if one of your videos got loose for people to see? could really hurt your future. you need to get help, counseling. but you also need to really want to do it, or it won't work. best wishes.
i don't think anyone would want to see a beautiful girl like you get her future ruined because she couldn't control herself. please do what you have to do.
if you feel like you need someone to talk to, feel free to e-mail me
DJL81790@aol.com
Damn girl. I'm a pickup artist so I'm not really one to talk, but it definitely sounds like you need Jesus. Try going to church?
You probably do this for 2 reasons, 1- insecurity or some sort of self esteem issue that makes you need to have sex and get reallyTyhysical (to the point of doing that stuff) to feel validated and loved by men.... and 2- simply put, the physical addiction to having sex and orgasms.
Church would help both, knowing that Jesus and God love you, and that you have intrinsic human value and dignity, would definitely boost your self esteem alot, helping #1... and for #2, it'll take a little bit more work, but I bet you can ease up on the sex and simply masturbate more to fill in the need for #2.
As for lowering and ending #2 as well, you can just try masturbating less and less, slowly, over time. Sort of like waning off of cigarettes or booze. Its possible. I used to masturbate alot, and wanted sex all the time as well (im a guy), but now that ive got a steady girlfriend who i love, we only have sex like once a day and only for about 30 minutes to an hour each time (we each orgasm once or twice).
Thats really how its supposed to be! You should get a steady boyfriend too. Having sex EVERY DAY even isnt bad, IFFFF its 1- with the same guy, 2- doesnt last for more than an hour or at most 2 hours a day, and 3- you're again with the same guy, so no STDs or risk of being called a sl*t or anything like that.
Yeah that's kind of crahazy you definitely need to slow down.
I think you should learn to get your mind off of it cause theres so many better things you could be doing out in the world then having sex all the time, cause by your description it sounds like thats what you do most of the time, which isn't good :S
To be honest you need to hang out with your girlfriends more. Your friends are a great support system, ask them to hangout moree. Go to the movies, mall, eachothers houses, have nights out do somethingggg. Or get some hobbies like paint or draw, read, have some alone time. Another way play sports, go for jogs stay active it not only gets your mind off of it but it benefits you too. Just do something to occupy yourself. Do whatever you can to avoid having sex. Also its not good to have that much sex. Theres a lot of std's going around and you dont know who has them, so be careful its more dangerous then you think. Start cutting yourself down, little by little im sure you can do it, you just have to have a positive attitude and keep your head up strong
If that doesn't work seek some professional help im sure theres tons of places out there.
Hope this helps =]
I love sex too and I don't think that you have a problem... you are doing what you enjoy, so don't let people judge you and call you a slut. You are just a very sexually open individual and there is nothing wrong with that. I would love to hear about your experiences!
The fact is, that everyone has testosterone. Both women and men have testosterone. Testosterone is a sex hormone and it is what causes a sex drive. Your sex drive will fluctuate. Sex drive can change with age, health, diet, medication, drugs and even whether or not you are in a relationship.
Sex is not inherently bad. In-fact, many medical professions believe sex is actually quiet healthy. However, obsessive compulsive behavior is bad. Dangerous sex is also bad. Sex addiction is any form of behavioral dependency, that is of a sexual natural. So, compulsive sex or even masturbation, can be considered a form of sex addiction. The behavior associated with searching-for and consuming pornography, can also be seen as a form of sex addiction.
Addiction takes many forms. Addicts either are maintenance users or they binge. There are addicts who work 60-hours a week, without using and then binge on the weekends.
Addiction can either be a chemical dependency or a behavioral dependency. Sex, Masturbation and pornography, while considered a behavioral dependency, are also a biochemical dependency. True, it is human nature to enjoy sex, however, not everyone can properly moderate the desire, or amount of sex they have. Addiction is a disease and it directly effects the moderation control, found in the frontal lobe, of the brain.
You may also want to consider whether or not you have fantasy addiction or love addiction. While fantasy and love may seem natural, they can be excessive for some. Some may avoid reality, and pursue only fantasy. Some people may use sex or relationships to numb. Some people may lack a positive self-relationship and thus may look to others to provide validation and approval. Sex is one way, that a love addict may gain approval or validation.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) is used by both psychologists and psychiatrists for diagnosing disorders, such as substance dependence, which is essentially what addiction is. The DSM-IV offers seven criteria for substance dependence.
The seven criteria for substance dependence are:
(1) Tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
(a) A need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or desired effect.
(b) Markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of the substance.
(2) Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following: (a) The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance (refer to Criteria A or B of the criteria sets for Withdrawal from specific substances). (b) The same (or a closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.
(3) The substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended.
(4) There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use. (Unmanageable)
(5) A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance (such as visiting multiple doctors or driving long distances), use the substance (such as chain smoking) or recover from its effects.
(6) Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use.
(7) The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous has created a 40-Question Self-Diagnosis Questionnaire to help you determine if you have an addiction. You can find it here: http://www.slaafws.org/download/core-files/The_40_Questions_of_SLAA.pdf
If you would like to get more information, or if you would like to begin sex addiction recovery, you can choose from many different sources. SLAA, is the oldest of the sex addiction recovery programs. It is both free and anonymous. Those who lead these programs, are also addicts and can provide you with first-hand ratableLexperience, strength and hope. Meetings are held face-to-face, on the phone and on-line.
SLAA - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
http://www.slaafws.org
http://slaaonline.org
SAA - Sex Addicts Anonymous
http://saa-recovery.org
SA - Sexaholics Anonymous
http://www.sa.org
SCA - Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
http://www.sca-recovery.org/
Co-SLAA - Recovery for family of Sex and Love Addicts
http://www.coslaa.org/
Email me and ill let you know seriously Ive seen situations like this or even been in stuff like this .Id Love to see your videos if you dint mind. AND DONT WORRY THERES WAY MORE THINGS PPLE DO THEN JUST YOUR STORY. ITS NOT REALLY A PROBLEM.YOULL SEE
i have a sex addiction. what can i do? -
04-25-2010, 12:39 AM
