[BlueJuliet]

Please don't give me immature comments or smart remarks, because this is a battle I have been struggling with and it is serious to me. Back in 2003 I was diagnosed as a sex addict. If anyone knows about sex addiction there are two types. There's the addicts who need porn, masturbation, and strive to achieve an orgasm. But then there's addicts like me who go man hunting and constantly seek sexual attention. It's like I get a "hit" off the guy. If I do have sex I don't get a high off of climaxing but I get a high off of being the center of the guy's world for that moment.
The addiction has been so consuming and taken over my life and lead me into serious depression. I felt like I had a secret life. Nobody knew this part of me. I also felt like it hurt my spirituality because I was too ashamed to even pray about it. So I got into therapy and over time I got the addiction under control.
But now I have fallen in love and been with my fiancee for 3 years. I have not cheated on him as I have done with other relationships in the past because of the addiction. I still go to therapy to stay on top of it. But I feel so guilty because my fiancee has no idea about my past. He knows everything about me but that. It is the only thing and a big thing he doesn't know about me. It's killing me that he doesn't know because I want to be an open book. He is aware that I have been with a lot of men but when I tried to get into why, he just didn't get past the fact that I had so many men in my past so he will never let me bring it up to explain myself. He shut the issue too quick and that was it. Ever since then I don't bring it up.
So I don't know if I should just bury the old me and enjoy my new life addiction-free with him, or should I really keep pushing to be honest? I really don't want him not to trust me. I hate keeping anything from him. What do you guys think? Again, I want sincere and mature answers. Thanks.

[Reva P]

I think you have pretty much answered your question already.

You dint seem to be able to cope with not telling him. If you can't move on without getting it out in the open then you need to tell him for your own sanity if nothing else.

You dint have to go into uncomfortable detail about it. Just tell him you love him unconditionally and want to be completely honest with him, If he truly loves you he should be able to accept it.

[vileysrus@sbcglobal.net]

Hi Tamara. Seems like you got a bit going on in your life right now. I added you to my contacts list but you dint accept messages or emails. Maybe you could get in contact with me and we can try and get your life back on the right road to finding happiness x

Andy

[AnimalFilter]

I don't see any reason to tell him about it. It appears he doesn't want to hear the details. If at some time he is ready to learn more about your past then I would be open in telling him. Otherwise, what is there to be gained? He is not ready to her these things about his future wife.

You didn't mention whether you go to meetings or not. I was a member of SA and SLAA for a couple of years and I would go 2-3 times a week. I eventually stopped going but it really helped straighten me out. Now, at age 40 I'm finally happily married. I met my wife met after the time I stopped going to meetings so I didn't tell her any of the grisly details of my former life. But if I were still actively going to meetings I would try to be open about it as to where I was going and why.

I wish you good luck and continued sobriety.