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05-24-2010, 03:11 PM
Males have a much higher drive then do females. The porn thing is harmless. Still many people, mostly women, who by the way, ( Don't like porn to begin with) try to make it seem like its some sort of social problem like drinking or smoking.
The truth is that you married a MAN and that is just what we do. Sure some men do it more and some do it less but the ones who don't are the ones with deep social issues. Religion and the thought of higher standards can cause that.
Porn is the only teacher for males. A male wants to please you. Mastubation and thus porn helps him practice what he is required to do in relationship. More than that is the fact that no two couples have equal drive. This is where porn and masturbation take up the slack.
In some countries. England for instance.. It is common to have another woman on the side. Feel lucky that he does not have this and instead has 100% safe porn and a good right hand.
The reduction of sex and pleasure is not a new one. Circumcision has its roots in the fact that it impairs a males abilities to please himself and you. In the U.S. sex is an offensive thing. Not so in most countries. His higher sex drive is actually desired by most levees of comparison.
I would not try to fight this because your relationship will loose to it. He does not need help. Its natural and its the only way to learn how to better to perform. Perhaps he thinks you don't like what he has, and need to try to improve.
Reverse it. Buy him a DVD porn and watch it with him. Any attempt to think he needs therapy will soon bring an end to your relations. This is not the answer you will get from females. It will go against you inner feelings as well. But unfortunately the U.S. is dysfunctional here.
We cut off his foreskin and then force him into a low sex relationship with no out.
Try increasing your lovemaking. Notice I did not say sex. Making love and sex are different. Making love can last all night long and its a giving thing not a taking this. Sex is a taking act. Understanding his need for more is what you need to do. And there are many ways you can join in on his porn surf. Learn what he likes but will not tell you. Males are visual. Find what turns him on then give him that yourself. This is a learning opportunity. One you can help find out how better to perform. Its also 100% STD free. Better porn than another woman !
Keep things in perspective. Aso - Try surfing for your own porn and see how he likes it. Sometimes this has a good effect. Its not a big deal. Every guy I know sends me porn to my phone every day.. Its what we do, and would you want him hiding this from you. Be part of a healthy solution. Enjoy it like you would all parts of your relationship. Fight it and loose not just him but everything you cold have had with him.
My wife knows I surf for porn and that I masturbate all the time. Shje also knows that when she wants sex I am there and resdy all the time. Her drive is less than mine and she knows it. I asked her if she had a problem with it. She said of course not. So its really up to you.
Go in there and surf with him. Comment on what he sees and even make love to him. Accept this and be part of him and his life. Rejecting it is a big mistake. It will divide your relations and nothing will stop that. He will never quit masurbation or porn. That is a for sure. I would leave my wife if it came to such a choice and not even think twice about it.
It may not be the answer you were looking for, but its the correct one.
Many women make this mistake. Its the cause of many failed relationships. Go with the flow here. A male is about 50 times more horney than a woman, and this increases as the woman ages. So clearly there is something that needs to take up the slack.
Well- You might not give me my 10 points but if in some way I help your relationship by acceptance, even a little, then I have done my job correctly. Good luck...
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