[indigo]

,I just lost my grandmom on Friday.She had an cerebral hemorrage the day after Christmas and was in a rehab center for 3 months.As of wed the doctor told us to give her morphine and let her stay on the ventilator so she can pass peacefully.On Friday this other doctor told us that we are prolonging the inevitable and that she should be on an oxygen mask and giving morphine.We told her we weren’t prolonging anything we were just doing what the other doctor said to keep her comfortable.It was a nightmare.The did put her on the oxygen mask and took away the ventilator and gave her the morphine.She lived for maybe 2 hrs. It was the worst thing I ever saw in my entire life.I stayed in the room for maybe an hour then had to leave and go into the conference room it upset me so bad.They say that she didn’t feel anything and I hope to God thats true because what I saw she didn’t look that comfortable.I know she is in Heaven now but I can’t keep the sight of her on that mask out of my head and I don’t know what to do.Im feeling very anxious ever since.If anyone else can offer any guidence as to how I can get the images out of my head please let me know.

[molly m]

You're in one of the worst stages of grieving, which occurs even without witnessing the event. You will be suffering a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I recommend you go and see a Grief Counsellor as soon as possible, and some people require anti-depressant medication if the feelings persist.

[unknownsndr]

my father is a cancer DR..my aunt came to stay w/ us for treatment of throat cancer..the tumor ruptured in the middle of the night 2 weeks into treatment(hyperthermia) and she bleed out in the hospital..it was horrible but i figure we have a part of her with us(in our hearts and minds) and GOD has the rest..the shell returns to the earth and life goes on..remember the good times and i hope u feel better soon, it takes time

[Amoreena]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that is a very hard ordeal to go through. I can tell you that I've read many true accounts of people who have near death experiences - when they die, but they come back into life because it's not their time yet. Non of the experiences that I've read have ever been bad from their point of view. Even when it seemed to others like they died painful deaths, they came back to say that the whole experience for them was beautiful, and many talked of loved ones and even pets waiting on the other side for them, and how it was so peaceful. I never once read an account in which the person said it was painful, and every one of them said they were no longer afraid of death. These stories have helped me a lot. Keep in mind that your Grandma is now happy and not in pain anymore, not at all like you last remember her, and she wants you to be happy, too. Take care, and I know you'll get through this.

[Simmi]

I'm sorry your grandmom died. It is hard. She wouldn't have felt anything at that time. I do think it is odd to see people on oxygen, etc. It doesn't help at that time. Grieving is hard. Talk with someone about what you saw to get some perspective on it. At this time, she has no pain, you do.

[♥PomMom♥®™]

Yes, I was there when my mother passed away She was 54. I was 35 then. The hardest part was watching her suffer, not the death itself. Although, that was very heartbreaking in itself.My dad left all decisions regarding her care left up to me. I honored my mother's wishes - she wanted to be as pain-free as possible and did not want feeding tubes, IV's, ventilators/respirators or anything that would prolong her life. I made sure she had enough Morphine so she would be comfortable. Basically, she died of dehydration and starvation (at least that's how I look at it) and I still feel very guilty - like I imposed death on her because all decisions were mine. I still have nightmares.I think it would be a good idea if you sought counseling and a support group.