[Kristin S]

For a while now, My schedule has consisted of work and home, work and home... I dont do much for fun, if anything. But when I do try to go have fun, its kind of like, I just wish I were home, and yet I complain all the time about how I never do anything. A couple of days ago, for example, my boyfriend and I and a couple friends went to an amusement park for the day. I actually only enjoyed myself for a couple of hours and then I didnt want to be there anymore. A few years ago, I would have went there and never wanted to leave, but now, I was just anxious to get out of there. I was nervous to ride anything. And it wasnt just the excited nervous feeling, I was genuinely NERVOUS, like trembling and scared to death about it. Im not sure whats wrong with me. I went to the doctor and they prescribed me Klonopin 0.5 mg, and I only took like one of them because I didnt want to get loopy or anything on them while taking care of my son. I dont ever ever drink, which I used to back when I was younger almost daily, and now Im actually too nervous to drink.. Yes, I said NERVOUS to drink. I complain all the time about how I never get to do anything, never get to go anywhere.. and then when I actually get the chance to do it..whatever that thing may be.. Im too scared and nervous to enjoy myself. Im SICK OF IT. I cant live like this anymore. I know the way Im describing it probably doesnt make it sound all that bad, but let me tell you.. If you were like me... Outgoing, social, fun, happy, funny and then over time for whatever reason you turned into boring, plain, lazy, depressed, anti social.. you'd be a little curious too right? I mean, shoudl I go back to the doctor or what? When I last went to him, I believe I described the way I felt as, Im just anxious all the time, Im bitchy, I snap at everybody over every little thing, Im fatigued ALWAYS, cant gain weight (Im 93 lbs, 5"4, 19 years old) And back in my"fun"days I weighed 125-130 lbs until I got a bad case of the stomach flu and just ever since then... I havent gained a pound. Even when I was pregnant, the most I weighed was 128 lbs, and that was ALLLLL baby.. As soon as my son was born I was immediately back down into the 90 lbs.. So Im scared. Not only can I not gain weight when I eat like a heffer constantly, Im scared about everything, I almost have an anxiety attack before taking my Klonopin because I dont want it to get me"high"or whatever, Im ALWAYS tired, I WANT to have some fun, whether it be getting drunk or whatever but I get nervous. Im getting nervous right now just writing about it.. The reason I dont drink anymore is because after the whole stomach flu thing a few years back, I developed Emetophobia which is fear of vomit... So I try to stay away from any situation where people are drinking (which everyone I know does), and I myself avoid drinking because I dont want to throw up. Im not sure how I should go about this. I want to say there is some underlying problem because not only am I experiencing all of the said symptoms, Im also lightheaded ALOT for no reason.. As I said, I eat every chance I get. I can eat a big helping of dinner, and be completely stuffed and 20 minutes later, Im asking everyone around me"Hey, are you guys hungry?"and when they look at me like Im crazy, I go make myself another plate. I dont know whats going on.. My thyroid levels have been tested, my blood sugar, blood pressure, you name it, it's been checked. I was supposed to go back to my doctor for a chest XRay and an MRI but my insurance was cancelled so I never went back for that. SO what do you guys think? Do you or someone you know experience the same symptoms? Im in desperate need of help... Im sick of just floating through life miserable all the time, whether Im doing something exciting or not... I cant and don't want to live like this anymore. As a summary, since I did write an aweful lot.. Here are the symptoms:1. Unable to gain weight2. Lightheaded3. Depressed4. Anxious5. Fatigued6. Stressed out to the max7. Bitchy...And I know all of these symptoms probably point to just simple anxiety but I have NEVER been the way I am now. I used to be a thrill seeker, and I used to be fun and outgoing and now Im just... blah. I just feel like a 65 year old trapped in a 19 year olds body.. Please give me feedback And.. Please don't leave any stupid feedback about how Im 19 and shouldnt be drinking or wanting to drink anyway. I know Im underage, don't make that something to focus on..You would just be telling me what I already knowAlso.. My mind is constantly racing, I think about a million things per second and none of them hold anything important. My heart races all the time.. My mind moves faster than my mouth so I get ahead of myself when talking sometimes which makes everything that Im talking about not make any sense, it just comes out a jumbled mess.. I just feel like Ive become weird.. Basically, I feel like Im on speed or something.. And yet I have no energy...

[Mr. Jupiter]

Hi Kristin,

I read your entire post and I have to say that for a while I exhibited the exact same sort of thing. How old is your child? Was the birth recent? This could be an effect of post partum depression.

However, I don't think you should jump to that conclusion. My wife and I have recently suffered many of the same things. I am 26 and she is 27.

You may feel like you have some type of social phobia. There are a number of medication to help with this, though I don't believe in a "cure all" Drug.

Clonazapam/Klonopolin is a drug that is prescribed for people that exhibit your symptoms. Though it is relatively strong, and will most likely sedate you, it can help in social situations. If you are going out and do not feel like going out, a Clonazapam is great for taking the edge off the anxiety that you feel. However this is only a substitute.

Herbal alternatives include St. Johns Wort, GABA (it's great), and Rhodiola Rosea.


I understand your frustration because there isn't a book or theory that adequately diagnosis the social and psychological trauma that many of us young people are going through.

There has never been a time like this. Science is great, but it is still playing catch up with our current social conditions.

You probably feel like your dreams and aspirations are dissipating right before you. Believe it or not, this can have a traumatic effect similar to mid-life crisis.

Never has so much emphasis been placed on dreams and aspirations in our generation "X" culture than in any other preceding culture.

This means that we, the relatively young, expect a lot more from ourselves than our parents or grand parents ever did. This also means that we put a lot more pressure on our physical, social, and psychological appearance. We must look a certain way. We must be highly regarded in certain social circles. We must APPEAR to be psychologically fit in ways that our parents and grandparents never had to be.

The key is sit down for an hour or two and evaluate every aspect of your life. Decide where you want to be in five years. Determine where you are now, and be willing to accept failure.

Try some of the herbs I posted and then maybe see a doctor. Keep posting here (it helps)

Peace to you.