[Michael S]

First I dint need any bullshit answers here.

I JUST found out my husband is addicted to cocaine. I had NO idea!! We are your normal family. two kids, two cats, nice house, nice cars, good jobs.

I just looked at my husbands banking finances and realized he's been taking out $50, $80, $150 every day for the past few months.

I phoned him at work as soon I saw this and asked him what was going on. He admitted right away he's addicted to cocaine.

Like holy shit!!! I'm hysterical right now!

What do I do?? I still love this man. What step do I take to get him serious help. Rehab?? I know nothing about this stuff.

I dint even smoke cigarettes or drink never mind shit like that.

Help please with advice.

[Penny Lane]

Take him to rehab asap...I am not going to lie to you...It will be a long, bumpy road...but you love this man, so you are going to have be the person he leans on that will help get him through all of this. Good luck!

[benjamin w]

you're a guy too?

[*Greg's Wifey*]

Rehab would be great, if you can get him to go to one. A long term one that lasts at least 3 to 4 weeks might be best. There are 12 step recovery groups that can be of help to addicts who want to get clean. Narcotics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous, you should be able to find at least one of these in your local phone book. If not, a local mental health or rehab center should be able to give you the number to call to find out where meetings are where your husband can attend. He should go to at least one meeting a day, every day for at least 3 months. So expect him to spend time getting clean, then learning how to stay clean.

There are programs for you as well. They can be of help to you. Naranon or Alanon can help you get through this time. It is not easy being the addict or the one who loves the addict. Sometimes addicts don't stay clean the first time they try, and they may or may not try again to get clean. A program for you can give you people to talk with, without you sharing everything with your family. The people that attend those meetings have been through what you will be going through, so take advantage of their experience.

[counsellor_james]

He has to want to quit, cocaine is very addictive. Find new friends.

[nightevisions]

Honestly, I've seen a lot of people go through the whole Rehab, NA thing.... it doesn't' usually work. What seems to work is flat out telling them Quit. Now. Or we are done.

Period. the end. No B/S. Find a doctor to help him safely detox (or send him to a detox center) and then tell him this is the end. Get your family to help you if they can. Holding their hand, and being sympathetic and "caring" will only let them know that if they screw up you'll do this with them all over again. The whole "one day at a time" system in AA / NA gives them the hope that maybe, maybe tomorrow they COULD do coke again...if they wanted to.... they just have to choose not to. It gives you permission to "relapse" by saying "you are diseased, and you can NEVER give up this substance without doing these steps, confessing to this, accepting this God etc etc" (IE..if you mess up, you have a disease to blame.)

You also need to protect yourself and kids. Ban ALL illegal substances from the house (if God forbid someone finds it, Family Serivces will take the kids and sort out who's it was later. And I PROMISE you, he's not going to smile and admit to child endangerment to get you off. I'm not not exaggerating or kidding. I watched DYFS take my friends kids this way. She was clean.) If you don't think he can do this - throw him out til he can. (I mean like THROW him out. Pack a bag for him and change the locks. If he's lied to you this long, he's not above doing it again.)

I'm not trying to be harsh, but this man does not have YOUR best interests at heart. Cocaine doesn't stay in your system very long - he should be able to detox fairly quickly (and once it's out of your system, the wanting it is ALL in your head )

Good luck - I hope you can work this out.