[sereneicequeen]

Every holiday my dad gets drunk and causes everyone to leave our house he doesn't think straight when he's drunk and calls my mom and I names then my mom gets angry and makes things worse (she also drinks, but is not an alcoholic.) I get upset every night now and my mom thinks if she takes me shopping it makes me better, but it doesn't. The rest of my family is uncomfortable and doesn't want to come over our house no more now my mom thinks she hates my dad and might want to get a divorce and wants to take me w/her, but I wouldn't want to go with any of them if that happens. I can't think of any way to get my family to be normal w/out a divorce. My dad also gets upset w/ my mom and smokes cigarettes to the point when he can't breathe and drinks some more. he keeps promising to stop drinking, but he doesn't. What can I do? My mom might cancel every holiday. I'm 13 years old and I hate my life. Plz help me.

[cintia v]

It is so sweet of you to try to fix everything but your job is to grow up and enjoy life while it is easy. Not to be a peace maker between your parents. Let them work it out and you live your life. Alcoholics wont change, not without help anyways. Try to get him to get some help if he wants to watch you grow up he needs to quit smoking and drinking plus it is a money Pitt. Talk to your mom and get them both to understand that. She needs to help him. She is his wife and no matter what he says or does or thinks they took the vows to be there for each other and help each other. Get your mom to understand that he needs her and he needs her to not be mad at him. Dont hate your life, it will get better trust that. I hope this helped. Best of luck.

[cholsf]

You need too take too him sober, take control, make him know your serious, tell him the consequences if he continues drinking..

[~*~California Momma~*~]

My be you should report your parents to CPS child protective services, you might have a better life in group home or foster home, normally the people that work in these types of homes are really good with young girls and boys, and you learn a lot and have good environments to live in.
My niece by marriage, had a mother who was a drug addict, alcoholic, and many other things, the mother mistreated her, she use to throw her on the ground and against the wall. She was reported to the school and they sent the cops over there and busted her with drugs. She went to jail for a year and when she got out she was a total different person. She quit drinking, she quit drugs, she found religion and now has been a good mother to her two daughter. I'm proud of her, it was the best thing that ever happen to her going to jail. She even has a job with she has been working for about 5 years now.

[Britta baby]

Alcoholism is a disease with psychological, physiological, social, and family aspects. An alcoholic will only engage in treatment when he feels that things are so bad for him that they can not possibly get worse. This is called hitting bottom. Your father has to hit bottom and choose treatment. Nothing you do will expedite that decision. Trying to talk an alcoholic out of drinking will have the same level of success as trying to talk a cancer patient out of his cancer. Alcoholism is as much of a disease as cancer.

You need to understand what the alcoholic feels. The urge to drink is as strong as the urge that you and I feel when we have to go to the toilet badly. It is an overwhelming urge.

At this point, you need to take care of yourself. Join AL-ANON or Ala-teen. There are meetings all over the world. You will meet people who have been where you are now. They can provide both emotional support to you and tell you how they coped with the situation you're now in.

Best of luck,
Sean Roberts

[My spelling sucks tonight]

Living with an alcoholic can be difficult and stressful. You must realize that you have not done anything wrong and that you cannot control your father. Unfortunately, people who want to stop drinking are the only ones who can make that decision. Interventions and ultimatums don't work unless the person admits that they have a problem and are willing to do something about it. This probably isn't the answer that you wanted but it is how the disease works. Advice for you would be to keep yourself safe and away from your father when he drinks. You can be in the same house without being around him. Talk to your mother about other things you can do when your father gets this way. You can call the Boys Town Hotline at 800-448-3000 24/7 if you would like to discuss this with a crisis counselor.
Good luck
Counselor EA

[JEN A]

Do your best to take care of yourself.

There's not much else you can do. You can't make your parents stop drinking. You can't make them become good parents. Child protective services and school counselors will do very little to help you. They *might* investigate, but you're probably stuck in that abusive household until you're old enough to move out on your own.